Canadian Badass
by Jeff
Summary: A parody of 'American Badass' by Kid Rock.


(Alex wears jeans, a bomber jacket, and a brown version of Kyle's hat, sides turned up.)  
  
Canadian Badass.  
  
(We see Alex sitting in the middle of a snowstorm wearing the sides of his hat down and sipping on a hot chocolate watching TV which is showing scenes of Alex burning thngs.)  
  
Yeah  
And I set up and tore down this stage with my own two hands   
We've travel this land packed tight in Volkswagens  
And all this for the friends, girls, money and fame   
I played their game   
and As they scream my name   
I will show no shame   
I live and die for this   
And if I come off soft   
Then chew on this!   
  
Are you scared?   
  
(Alex is now in a mountie uniform on a stage with a black background.)  
  
Pyro without a cause   
And I'm here with the campaign hats   
And Kahki slacks   
30 packs of pop   
30 pack of pals  
  
No Viagra in the propane flow   
The chosen one   
I'm the living proof   
With the gift of gab   
  
(Alex is in his normal outfit walking down the main street of South Park as buildings behind him go up in flames.)  
  
From the city of truth   
I jabbed and stabbed  
And knocked skeptics back  
And I did not stutter when I said that   
I'm going psycho from   
Solvin' crimes   
I went on fire   
Seven times   
And still they ill   
They wanna see us fry   
I guess because only god knows why   
Why why why why why   
  
(We now see a bunch of kids around a big vat of chocolate milk as Molly and Robin hit eschother with pool noodles while in their swimwear.)  
  
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh   
They call me Mountie   
I'm the pyro in red   
So throw a finger in the air and let me see where you're at   
Say eh, eh   
Let me hear where your at   
And say eh, eh   
I'm givin it back   
So say eh, eh   
Show me some metal   
And say   
eh, eh, eh, eh  
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh gat!!!!!   
  
(Alex is now on an RCMP motorcycle in his normal outfit.)  
  
I like Weird Al and RHCP*   
Metallica, MB20* and the kings of rock   
Skynard, Segar, Limp, Korn, the Stones   
David Allen Coe and no show Jones   
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaa   
Pass that bottle around   
Got the rock from South Park   
Soul from Motown   
The underground stoned fuckin Pimp   
We trash the mack and slap back the wack   
Never snort away   
I dont play with crack   
But watch me rock with Liberachies flashed   
Punk rock's a clash   
Boy bands are trash   
I like Johnny Cash and Grand Master Flash   
Flash flash flash flash flash   
  
  
  
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh   
They call me Mountie  
I'm the pyro in red   
So throw a finger in the air and let me see where you're at   
Say eh, eh  
Let me hear where your at   
And say eh, eh  
I'm givin it back   
So say eh, eh  
Show me some metal and say   
Eh, eh, eh, eh   
Uh uh uh gat!!!!!!   
  
(The motorcycle goes into the back of a van and into a tunnel.)  
  
Yeah, I saw your band   
Jumpin around on stage like a bunch of wounded ducks   
When you gonna learn sucker?   
You just can't fuck with   
MELENY'S BABABA BAND BAND BAND..  
  
(The tunnel stops and Alex goes through the dead end and onto the stage of that 'I am Canadian' ad.)  
  
I am Canadian bad ass   
Watch me kick   
You can roll with rock   
Or you can (suck my dick.Not!)  
I'm not a porno flick   
I'm like O Canada   
I'm not gonna fuck some hoe's   
After i rock this place   
Super fly   
Livin doubble wide   
Side car my glide   
So Chris P can ride   
Fuckin sack to share   
Bringin flash and glare   
  
Got the short hair swingin middle finger in the air   
  
Snakeskin suits, 65 Chevelle's   
See me ride in sin   
Hear the rebel yell   
I won't live to tell   
So if you do   
Give the next generation a big fuck you   
  
Who knew I'd blow up like this   
So fuck highschool   
I burnt my daploma   
Smell the aroma   
Check my hits   
I know it stinks in here   
Cause im the shhhh shhhh  
  
  
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
They call me Mountie  
I'm the pyro in red   
So throw a finger in the air, let me see where you're at   
Say eh, eh   
Let me hear where you're at   
Say eh, eh   
I'm givin' it back so say   
Eh, eh  
Show me some metal and say   
Eh, eh, eh, eh  
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...huh huh   
  
I'm a Mountie   
Bad ass in red   
Singin' Eh, eh, eh, eh   
From side to side   
From front to back   
Say eh, eh, eh, eh   
I put South Park back on the map   
And singin' Eh, eh, eh ,eh   
Alex T's in the house   
And thats where I'm at  
  
(RHCP=Red Hot Chilli Peppers, MB20=Matchbox 20.) 


End file.
